Chapter 1

"Where are you~? Pyonpyonmaru! Oh my beloved Pyonpyonmaru~?"

"...Ahh, transfer student. Good work today, but I'm sorry for disturbing you."

"It's quite chilly today, isn't it? Please, allow me to prepare some tea for you."

"Incidentally, you're quite fastidious, aren't you?."

"Now that the tumultuous Student Council President Re-election has ended, you are no longer obligated to show your face in the Student Council room."

"Well, it is acceptable to me. I have no issue with earnest men."

"Here, your tea."

"Ah, yes. Please feel free to drink your tea, but may I inquire about something?"

"Have you seen my Pyonpyonmaru, transfer student?"

"I suddenly misplaced it, so I am searching for it now."

"I really can not find it at all, so do you have any idea where it could be?"

"Ahh, my poor Pyonpyonmaru! I am certain it's trembling in loneliness!"

"I wish to find it posthaste and embrace it!"

"Where are you~? My adorable, precious, one and only Pyonpyonmaru~!"

"... ... ...Hm? Ah, no, Pyonpyonmaru is not my pet."

"It is my katana. A very charming and lovely one at that ♪"

"Oh, why do you look so taken aback? You are quite the strange one ♪"

"But, I digress. Today is Setsubun, is not?"¹

"To maintain order on campus, I was punishing any and all scoundrels who were pelting other students with beans."²

"During all of the commotion, Yakabe-senpai from the judo club confiscated Pyonpyonmaru"

"This truly is the greatest misfortune in my entire life!"

"Pyonpyonmaru was only recently damaged and rebuilt, it's still recovering from its illness!"

"Ahh, it must feel so frail and lonely!"

"I'm so sorry, Pyonpyonmaru! Waaaah!"

"Uugh... In any case... I am attempting to find where Yakabe-senpai hid Pyonpyonmaru."

"I'm searching the school with a fine-toothed comb, but I simply can't find it at all~!"

"I look and I look, but Pyonpyonmaru is nowhere to be found!"

"If I keep worrying like this... I might go insane!"

"Where are you~? Pyonpyonmaru! If you're there, please say something~!"

"...Wh-what is it? You're staring terribly hard at my face."

"Hm? I seem different from usual today? Is that so?"

"I suppose that may be the case. I tend to become anxious without a weapon in hand."

"Ugh... I've shown you an unsightly side of myself. I'd be pleased if you could erase this from your memory."

"I'm not like this under normal circumstances. I'm much more put together..."

"Don't you agree, transfer student?"

"But... Without a weapon..."

"I feel so weak..."

"Ugh... I'm even tired of myself, this is quite embarrassing."

"Please, do not look upon me in this state!"

"Wh-what is the matter with you? I told you not to look at me, yet you're staring even harder... You're so cruel!"

"Hm? That's true, that if I was holding something more weapon-like, I may feel a bit better."

"Even a bamboo sword will suffice."

"The captain is currently secluding herself in the mountains, so I am completely lacking motivation."

"And the club is on a break today, so I didn't bring it with me."

"And my other katana, Francois, is being sharpened to look even cuter."

"So it's staying home and waiting for me."

"But in this situation, anything that even slightly resembles a weapon will do."

"What will work... Something like a weapon, something like a weapon... Hm...?"

"Oh, did you find something?"

"This is...an earpick? It does look a little like a weapon, doesn't it?"

"I can have this? You're a lifesaver... Even something like this can ease my anxieties just a touch."

"Thank you very much. You're very kind, transfer student."

"Hehe, now this is quite unlike me. I really am feeling quite delicate."

"Since we're talking about it, would you like me to clean your ears for you?"

"Perhaps it is because you're a man, but you're often a bit unkempt."

"I've always thought you'd look much more dashing if you cleaned yourself up a little."

"I insist, there is no need to be shy."

"There. It feels a bit strange to sit on the floor when we have a chair."

"Now, I am prepared. Please rest your head on my lap."

"Hehehe... Your temple is so defenseless..."

"I wonder if it'd feel good if I completely shoved the ear pick into your ear like this...♪"

"Ah, I seem to have said something quite vulgar."

"How embarrassing, please pretend that you didn't hear that."

"... ... ...Please don't look so frightened, I'm not an oni after all♪"